Last week, I blogged about happy people and their ability to keep smiling, even when life struggles come about, so it’s perfectly ironic that today I’ve been hit by a dagger called, “depression” that makes me want to crawl into a sink hole and hide from the world around me. I figured I had two choices: I could skip this week’s blog post and hide away (y’all don’t read my posts anyway, right lol) OR I could write through it and practice what I preach. I think by you reading this post right now it is pretty obvious which choice I decided to live out… I chose to write through my depression spell, because of the very real fact that my depression wants me to hide. You see, depression isn’t very clever. It plays the same tricks over and over. It seeps into your life like an invisible poisonous gas and tries desperately to cut off your air supply to suck you back into the darkness. Sound familiar?
Yes, depression is an imbalance of chemicals, but depression is also triggered by life experiences. Don’t become a victim to your life triggers–it’s a trap! Instead of letting your life experiences trigger you into spiraling down into a deep dark depression, do some soul work and figure out what those life triggers are, so that when they happen you can fight back immediately! You know what I’ve found my biggest depression trigger to be? Succeeding. What a crock of crap, am I right?! Like freaking clock work, every single time I start living a life of purpose and heading down a path of happiness, the depression devil comes in to remind me of the long list of reasons why I need to die. I wish I was being dramatic, but depression doesn’t tip-toe or put a veil over things just because they’re uncomfortable to talk about–when depression hits, it attacks!
The depression devil HATES light, HATES joy, and HATES to see a person living contently. It will shady-car-salesman you right back to the Hell you crawled out of last time, except it has this really debilitating effect of lowering the level of depression each time so that you actually feel worse than the time before… Anyone feel me on this? IT’S NOT COOL and so unfair! So how do happy people, who suffer from depression, get out of spell before it sucks them into a month long trance? From my own experience, the first step was awareness and acceptance. I had to admit to myself that I have depression first, but it took a lonnnnnngggggg time. I thought that it was just my mind and my own way of processing things. I thought that maybe I was overdramatic or that I actually liked hiding away from people. I thought maybe i’m not interested in my life passions anymore, because I grew out of it. I thought maybe I was really worthless and should die. Um, NO, NO, NO, and HELL TO THE NO! All of those thoughts were lies, utter lies!
If it is the Lord’s will, maybe one day I’ll share my actual story of realization, but for right now I will say that it took me many years to finally admit and accept that I, a seemingly happy and smiling individual, have depression. That’s a hard life experience, but it’s life, right? Maybe you or someone you know is in denial or is suffering with known depression–believe me I know it is not easy. The first thing you can do to help yourself is to be aware of your depression and know what it is.
For me, I happen to have a psychology degree, which made it easy for me to know the facts about depression and how to help others cope with it, but like many other things it’s always hardest to hold yourself accountable in times of struggle. To help out with the accountability and awareness pieces of my depression, it also takes me being open and honest with my trusted loved ones about how I’m feeling, seeking help from doctors, and seeing a counselor. After many years of choosing to be aware of my depression, clinging to my faith relationship with God and loved ones, I have finally hit the breakthrough of the second helpful thing and that is accepting yourself anyway! In other words, depression does not define or identify me–NO NO!! It’s like that stupid bout of strep throat that just keeps coming back, but IT IS NOT WHO I AM–and it’s not who you are either.
I told you a little while ago that I am currently going through a little depression spell of my own, but guess what because I didn’t listen to the lies and wrote this blog I already feel better and you can too. Tell the depression devil to shut up with the lies and speak the truth over yourself! If any of that struck a nerve with you or made you do a quick self-check, give yourself the time and attention that you deserve in order to heal and be free! Take the first baby step into working on yourself. It will be hard and it will be a journey, but it will make sense on the other end. The time is now–be brave and courageous!
If you’d like to, please join me in prayer:
Heavenly Father, I pray for any soul out there that is battling depression or who may not be aware of what to call what they are going through yet. I pray that they would look to you for healing and to piece them back together shiny and new. I speak truth and love over everyone reading this blog and pray that the people that need to read this will find it and that it will be helpful in someway. Father, break the ties of depression from their bodies and let them be FREE!!! In Jesus name, AMEN!
Jaclyn Ramey, aka The Beauty Coach