I’m changing up my blog topics for a bit to focus on dun dun dun: single-lady-ness and relationships. Get your hearts ready and please be sure to subscribe and share with your friends!
Ghosts come uninvited, shake up your soul, and make you question, “are they even real?” Well, unfortunately the ghosts I’m talking about are so real it’s scary, because these “ghosts” are men that come back from your past relationships.
Why do I say, “uninvited”?
Oh you know, because they show up in your dreams VIVIDLY. Then, you wake up the next day, immediately call your best friend to perform a very in-depth dream analysis, and end up contemplating if it was a sign or if you should see what he’s up to. Yea uninvited, because when life is treating you well and you’re in a happy space–he shows up in some social media portal proposing his love for you, pleading to have you back, and sucking you back down into his mysterious, confusing, and love-drug-induced rabbit hole. Honey badgers may not give a s***, but in that moment you sure do. Of course you do, because at one point in your life that ghost was alive and real. You held his hand, shared life experiences, and you may have even loved him. Accept your feelings, it’s ok to feel or have felt them.
Inevitably, with every reappearance of these ghosts comes a shaken soul.
He shakes you, because his resurfacing also comes with the emotions that were buried at the time: butterflies in your stomach, trust, nervousness, excitement, lust, love, heartache, disappointment, rejection, numbness, bitterness, the feeling of building a wall… All of those emotions are shaken not stirred and they leave you pondering what in the world to feel now. Accept yourself, be confused, ask questions, allow yourself to be exactly where you are.
Are these ghosts even real? Ask yourself the hard questions about this guy and leave your ego out of it:
Why is he coming back now? Did your newest selfie revive him back to remembering your phone number? Did he just get out of a relationship? Does he normally appear again at a certain time of year?
What are his intentions? Is he lonely? Is he trying to bow-chicka-wow-wow? Do his actions line up with his ever-so-charming words? Does he respect you and your boundaries?
Back to you… What are your intentions if you were to start talking to him again? Are you lonely? Do you have a ghost-cycle that keeps you coming back to him and trying to get his attention? Do you love him or do you love the feelings you used to have for him?
You’ve answered. Now, is he really real? Or, is he left over emotions that you never put to rest? Accept your feelings as they are and be REAL with yourself concerning whether to bring this ghost back to life or send him back to the underworld of relationship hell.
My heart has been shattered like a mirror on this topic and I’ve recently decided that I’m not willing to fragment my heart and soul for a ghost or any man that doesn’t meet my list of non-negotiable characteristics. Instead, I want to give my FULL heart to a real man that deserves it. I boldly proclaim that my husband is alive, but the timing isn’t right yet and that’s just fine with me. I’m going to be patient, I’m going to live my life, and he will be there…eventually. I know what love is and I’m willing to wait for it and for him. Will you wait with me?
“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand it’s own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”
-1 Corinthians 13:4-7
If you need a friend to talk with, pray for you, or to just listen, I’m here!
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Jaclyn Ramey, aka The Beauty Coach